| If body language intrigues you, here are some gestures you might like to look out for:
Firstly, there are two basic categories of body postures - Open/Closed and Forward/Back. In an open and receptive posture, people have their arms unfolded, legs uncrossed, and palms exposed. But in a closed body posture, arms are folded, legs are crossed and the body is usually turned away. Leaning back with a closed attitude merely shows a lack of interest, but leaning forward in the same way points to potentially aggressive behaviour. Leaning back in an open manner indicates contemplation and cautious interest but leaning forward and being open shows strong interest and agreement.
Then look out for four basic head positions. A neutral position indicates a neutral and open attitude, but a head tilted back indicates a superior attitude. One tilted down points to a negative and judgmental attitude, while someone with their head tilted to one side betokens interest. Facial gestures are easy to observe but just as easily overlooked because they are often very subtle. But they are vitally important because they can reveal deceit, doubt, deliberation, and critical judgement. Under normal lighting conditions when a person is excited about something, their pupils will dilate. Conversely, when someone is upset or angry their pupils contract – which is why professional poker players frequently wear sunglasses. If you are a professional salesperson, you should never wear sunglasses while talking to a prospect. Eye contact is crucial for building trust and rapport.
When a person rubs their eye they will normally look away from you to avoid eye contact, indicating deceit, while rolling eyes are a dismissive gesture that indicate superiority. If someone peers at you over their glasses, they are scrutinising you with a critical attitude but if they put their glasses to their mouth, they are using the gesture to stall or delay a decision. Chin stroking, on the other hand, signals the final process of making a decision. When you see this, avoid the temptation to interrupt them!
When someone rubs their nose, it means that they dislike the subject at hand. And watch out for the covert sign for “speak no evil” – a hand or fingers blocking the mouth. If a person does this while they are speaking, they are literally attempting to block or filter their words, pointing towards deceit. But if they do it while you are speaking, they are likely to be sceptical or doubtful of what you are telling them.
A negative attitude and critical judgement is shown when someone puts their thumb under their chin with their index finger pointing vertically along their cheek. When you see this, you could force them to drop their hand – and possibly stop being so negative – by handing them something.
Matching and mirroring body language gestures is normally unconscious mimicry - a way of unconsciously telling another that you like them and agree with them. Knowing that people want to get to know someone that they instinctively like and trust, you can build rapport by deliberately, but subtly, matching someone else’s body language. For example, if you notice someone crossing their arms, you could subtly cross your arms to match them. Once you believe you have established some rapport, check it out by seeing if they will match you. Uncross your arms and see if they, too, move to a more open posture. When they subconsciously match your body language gestures, you know you have developed trust and rapport. But if they are not attempting to match you - keep studying the fascinating language of the body. test. |