When a man and a woman first fall in love, they are considerate of and sensitive to one another’s needs in every area of their newly shared life, including sex. As time goes by, however, things become habitual and even sex can become routine.

If you have not enjoyed a fully satisfactory sex life for some time, for whatever reason, you and your partner may have to re-learn some of the sexual skills you acquired many years earlier and begin to get to know each other all over again.

If dissatisfaction has been due to erectile dysfunction (known as ED, or impotence),
approach your GP urgently to discover a possible underlying cause and to get treatment.

But although treatment for ED may help a man regain his erections, good sex - enjoyed by both partners - involves much more than this.  Loving each other, caring about one another's feelings and enjoyment, and being happy and relaxed with other facets of the relationship are also necessary for good sex. Surroundings play a part too, as privacy, warmth, comfort and adequate time - when neither of you are tired - are very important.

Feeling relaxed and at ease is also essential. Taking a bath or shower together before lovemaking can be both physically relaxing and sexually arousing.   Put on some pleasant music, turn off the phone, and concentrate on your partner. Take time to cuddle and stroke each other.  Focus on the pleasurable touching of lovemaking.  Concentrating too much on having an erection can make it difficult to have one.

Start with light touch, just with the fingertips, along the back and sides, down the back of the legs and neck.  Don't  rush to touch breasts or genitalia, although you may both want to do this later. Concentrate on how good touching your partner feels. Then, trade places. Lie on your stomach while your partner caresses you. Do not have intercourse the first time.  Enjoy holding, relaxing, and  feeling close.

It can be tempting for men to attempt penetration as soon as they have a partial erection, in case they lose it. The apprehension involved is often enough to cause them to lose it anyway:  it’s better to wait until the intensity of sexual feeling increases. Even if they manage penetration, fears that they will lose their erection may result in exactly that.  Hurrying often results in disappointment.

Any form of sexual pleasuring that is acceptable to you both is OK - talk to your partner about what you like and don't like: don't make them guess, or pressure them into doing anything they do not wish to do.

But don’t force the pace when starting to rejuvenate your lovelife.   Rather, fully enjoy the pleasure leading up to it.  Romance is yours for as long as you want it - as long as you live.