If someone drives too slowly they're an idiot and that gives us the right to tailgate and intimidate them. If you don't like the way someone changes lanes, they're too stupid for words and need to be ticked off. If someone makes an error and cuts in front of you, well that's worthy of violence. They must be taught a lesson - you don't mess with me on the road!

People have been killed or severely beaten for 'annoying' someone on the highway. It seems unbelievable. We're talking about driving a car here, not the Middle East crisis. Obviously in some cases there are serious psychological issues, but what makes normal, rational people become road warriors?

In their book “Road Rage and Aggressive Driving” authors Leon James and Diane Nahl believe we like to fit in or not stand out while driving. We all like to follow the rules. When another driver breaks those rules, we feel that it's a personal insult and they must be punished.

Drs Nahl and James say that we also think other drivers hate us! We jump to negative conclusions about why, for example, someone is driving too slowly. In psychology terms these are called dispositional attributions - thinking nasty things about the other driver. How many times have you heard, or perhaps thought yourself: “ Older drivers. They're hopeless” or “Women! They can't drive for nuts”. Most of the time we get this prejudice from our parents.

This negative thinking becomes as natural as driving itself.

The more rational and positive ways of approaching slow drivers are situational attributions. There might actually be a reason for the car driving so slowly - the driver may have children in the car or be transporting something valuable. It seems ridiculous that we jump to silly conclusions, or that we really care about being the leader on the road, but some drivers do. They feel the need to impress or beat other drivers with their bully-boy tactics, such as tailgating or giving others the finger.

Drivers who do this have what is called a low moral driving IQ. Aggressive drivers who intimidate others and feel no guilt at frightening the wits out of them, have a low moral IQ and an underdeveloped sense of morals... like children. If you know someone who feels a sense of supremacy after bullying someone on the road, you might ask them have a long, hard think about themselves!

Despite the stereotypes, women are in fact better drivers than men, according to James and Nahl. Usually they are more caring on the road and will conform to the rules, whereas often men drive with a pumping ego and see other drivers as competitors. Imagine carrying on like that in front of your children. The sad thing is, many people do and their children grow up thinking that's appropriate behaviour.

I clearly remember my father just about exploding because lights turned red or the lollipop lady stopped him at children's crossings. He started every day like that! He thought everything that happened on the road was just to annoy him!

Bad drivers annoy everybody, but it doesn't mean we have to get angry about it. After all, we'll probably never see these people again...and is it really such a big deal? Of course, people who are angry on the roads are usually unhappy before they turn the ignition. They're running late, they hate their jobs, their home life is not great - underlying stress can make seemingly normal people take out their problems on others.

So how to opt out of road rage? Take the advice of James and Nahl and develop a high moral IQ. According to them, these drivers are: "Less subject to pressure by others and maintain their own style of driving in which they strongly believe. Moral drivers have learned to accept the fact that they need to take other people's feelings into account."

And when we're on the road?
- Don't block the passing lane
- Don't change lanes without signalling
- Use your horn only when necessary
- Avoid direct eye contact
- Do not challenge an aggressive driver by speeding up
- Allow plenty of time to travel so you don't have to rush
- Don't drive while you're angry, upset or tired
- Remember that obscene gestures have gotten people killed or injured!

Play relaxing music in the car and try to think of each journey as an experience. If someone gets you angry, pull over and try some yogic breathing - slowly breathe in through your mouth with your tongue folded into a tube (sounds weird I know, but it works!). Close your mouth and hold onto to the air for as long as you can. Then breathe out slowly through your nose. Do this three times.

Refuse to be a player in someone else's road games. Don't let their problems become yours.

BodytalkMagazine.com